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me lose one of my time chip in one hand. In the last stroke, that hand without time chip came to touch the goal panel, that resulted in me missing out of qualifying for Pan Pacific by split second. That morning of the qualifying race I had coughs and fever, and I was that close to qualifying. I didn’t want to look back and wanted to throw that bad memory in a bin, yet I found myself carrying and dragging that memory with me. I was utterly disappointed when I got home. Litres of tears came down like never before. I wanted to curl into a ball in my room and just disappear. How wonderful could it have been if I won a medal in Pan Pacific in my home town? I would be happy and everyone who supported me would have been happy. They could have thought “it was worth supporting Yasu”. During watching Pan Pacific, I met eyes of Tateyama city mayer Mr. Kanemaru, and I couldn't be sorrier. As a Tateyama ambassador, it would have been great to win a medal today… Everyone. I am so sorry. I don’t want to feel like this ever again. Olympic qualifying world cup is next year. The Tokyo Olympics is in 2 years. I want to get a good result for me and for you all so we can all be happy.  I am going back to Miyazaki tomorrow. I’ve never been more aware that I am a weak person in the last few months. I feel that every day. So please, I beg you. As long as I am not giving up, please don’t give up on me. Pease give me strength. Thank you so much for your wonderful support.
from https://www.instagram.com/yasunari_hirai/